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Do you find it harder to make friends as an adult?
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AmayaTsuki wrote: DAN213 wrote: AmayaTsuki wrote: DAN213 wrote: AmayaTsuki wrote: DAN213 wrote: AmayaTsuki wrote: So, I have a few really good friends, but I've known them since high school. I've noticed that meeting people as an adult is really difficult and I wonder if a lot of other people struggle with this too or am I just doing it wrong I've thought about it a lot and I guess since, as an adult, pretty much all you do is go to work, it's pretty hard to meet people you can make a real connection with. How do you guys meet people? Or do you struggle like I do? Actually it's quite the opposite for me. Naturally, I only keep a few real close friends, but in high school I only kickd it with a small group of friends and didn't really socialize as much with others or tried to make new ones. Now as an adult I find it easier to make friends pretty much anywhere; school, work, coffee shops, super markets, shows/concerts, parties/clubs/bars/lounges, gasoline stations etc...Although, keep in mind I do not have the expectation of making friends at theses places, it just happens spontaneously. You must find it really easy to go up and talk to people. I like to talk to people and, if I'm at a party or something, I have no issues going up to a person and starting a conversation, but I can't imagine going up to a stranger at a super market or a gas station and initiating a conversation lol I think being a girl has a lot to do with that though. We have to play it safe :P I do find it pretty easy to talk to people, but also a good percentage of the time people come up to me and start a conversation; the majority of time it involves my motorcycle. Like at a gasoline station, if I see a fellow rider with a sick bike I'll go up to him/ her and ask them if they ride the canyons or just enjoy group rides and vice versa. At the super market, if I see someone that has similar items that I'm purchasing or contemplating on purchasing I'll ask for their opinion on said item; with cute chicks, that's just a good opener lolMotorcycles are awesome, so I could definitely see that being a good conversation starter. I do find having a pet makes talking to people easier. I have a pretty unusual dog, so people tend to approach me about that whenever I walk her or take her to a dog park. I can't imagine myself approaching a guy at a super market and talking to him about what he's buying, but then again, I guess I'm a little shy when it comes to the opposite sex. I do find it really easy to talk to people about their purchases when I'm at work though, but that's to make a sale and most of the male customers I get are buying for their wives or girlfriends lol :hmm: Seems like you may just lack confidence or just have an 'old-fashion' way of approaching men (i.e hoping that the guy she likes makes the first move and comes over and asks' her out). Sounds like you work at an erotic womens' lingerie store. loolI'm pretty confident, just shy and probably a bit old fashioned. I've approached men in the past, but (as I said in another forum post) my "flirting technique" is mostly just me babbling like an idiot for an hour lol But every now and then that works, some guys find it cute I suppose. I work at a Bath and Body Works lol, so I sell lotion and candles and whatnot. Most of the customers we get are women. If a man does walk in, he's usually shopping for a lady friend. Hahahaa That is a common likable trait in a girl, I tend to like girls that talk a lot since I'm more on the chill side but as long as it works for you I suppose. lol That is true about what you're saying, I've only been to that place once and it was to buy a birthday gift for an ex.. |
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Lifted.
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I cut ties with most of the people I knew in high school.
Later in life the opportunities to make friends are there. Anytime you join a group, there's an opportunity. I'm just trying not to do the same with the people I meet now. Purely anecdotal, but there it is. |
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AmayaTsuki wrote: Yeah, at least in high school you were with the same people for a year. A semester really isn't long enough to get to know someone, especially when most classes are only an hour once or twice a week. It's definitely hard to find people to joke with or who share my interests. Yay internet! It's a magical thing, bringing people closer together Mhm mhm! I agreee! lol the worst classes to make friends are the ones at night, cause I don't really care about anything by then-- I just want to go home from being in school aallll day T___T Ah! ke ke ke.. Why can't the bicycle stand up? Because it was "too tired" !! har har har! ah man, I crack myself up... (sigh *o* ) |
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WAIT! It's dangerous out there! Take one of these >> (-⦾-) (-⦾-) (-⦾-)
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yellowmangoes wrote: AmayaTsuki wrote: Yeah, at least in high school you were with the same people for a year. A semester really isn't long enough to get to know someone, especially when most classes are only an hour once or twice a week. It's definitely hard to find people to joke with or who share my interests. Yay internet! It's a magical thing, bringing people closer together Mhm mhm! I agreee! lol the worst classes to make friends are the ones at night, cause I don't really care about anything by then-- I just want to go home from being in school aallll day T___T Ah! ke ke ke.. Why can't the bicycle stand up? Because it was "too tired" !! har har har! ah man, I crack myself up... (sigh *o* ) One of my classes last semester was a night class and, yeah, I didn't talk to anyone lol I was exhausted after a day of school and work and the last thing I wanted to do was talk to people lol You're hilarious! :p |
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AmayaTsuki wrote: One of my classes last semester was a night class and, yeah, I didn't talk to anyone lol I was exhausted after a day of school and work and the last thing I wanted to do was talk to people lol You're hilarious! :pke ke ke! well i'm not sure if that was sarcasm or not, but i'll take the compliment! a friend of mine doesn't appreciate puns at all, it makes my soul cry...ah! I took a business class last sem, from 7-10pm. One of the worser (is that a word?!) decisions of my life... Tried so hard each class to stay awake >____< Oh, here's another one: "Have you heard of the man who's left arm and left leg have been cut off? O: |
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No not at all it far simpler for me. life will teach you who will be good friends and pass on the ones that will drag you down. but you have to get out there to find out. If your rejecting yourself you will make it difficult to make friend and the ones you make tend to be users if not just crummy people.
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If can’t poke fun at yourself do not poke fun at other good chance you’ll loose
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yellowmangoes wrote: AmayaTsuki wrote: One of my classes last semester was a night class and, yeah, I didn't talk to anyone lol I was exhausted after a day of school and work and the last thing I wanted to do was talk to people lol You're hilarious! :pke ke ke! well i'm not sure if that was sarcasm or not, but i'll take the compliment! a friend of mine doesn't appreciate puns at all, it makes my soul cry...ah! I took a business class last sem, from 7-10pm. One of the worser (is that a word?!) decisions of my life... Tried so hard each class to stay awake >____< Oh, here's another one: "Have you heard of the man who's left arm and left leg have been cut off? O: A friend of mine only jokes in puns, so I'm use to it lol. The word you're looking for is worst. "One of the worst decisions of my life." I haven't heard that one. What about him? |
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It really is hard, and when you start in a big company or go to college as an older person it makes you feel lonely. It seems like very few people stay friends after high school as well. I guess most people just get into a group and never leave. It sucks because I like to have a lot of people to hang with but most of my friends have moved out of NYC because it is too hard to live here if you are not super rich or super poor.
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"I believe in panties" ~Shiina
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Yes. The older someone gets, the more interactions they will have had. They start associating certain characteristics with certain traits. In essence, you get more judgmental as you age and it becomes more difficult to be as open as you were when you were a naive kid.
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If you close your eyes, it's a beautiful world.
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miserykitsune wrote: I found it hard enough as a child. I only imagine it gets harder as an adult when you have less time for socialising and hobbies, and most people would have settled with friends from before and reluctant to make anymore. Then you have your friends emigrating and whatever else. Then when you hit old age, your friends start dying off.. I never had a lot of friends when I was younger, I always found it hard to make friends for lots of reasons, still do. As an 'adult' though I find that its a lot easier. People tend to act more mature (even if they aren't really...keypoint me Life's too serious y'know!) and give you a reasonable chance to be yourself and to accept you and I find myself having more time for people that in years gone by I wouldn't have passed the time of day with. In the end I guess you start to realise that whilst everyone is different in their opinions and hobbies and whatnot, everyone is fundamentally a human being (at least that's how I see it). The petty differences that created divides back in school days just don't seem to matter any more. Life's difficult enough as it is and doesn't need to be made more difficult with having bad feeling for no reason.Even people who were pretty unpleasant to me back at school now act like decent people and whilst I'm still wary (old habits dying hard I guess) we can all be civil and get along and what not. Don't get me wrong, I don't like them but I won't go out of my way to be an awkward dick (which I can when they're trying to buy booze of smokes in my shop) just because they were a bit mean when I was a kid. I guess you've just got to put yourself out there a bit and eventually you'll find folks who'll do the same for you - even if you have little in common something as simple as working together often helps. As sad as it sounds the people I work with (some in particular) are some of the best mates I've got - my boss alone is worth ten of my old school mates - how many managers of supermarket chains do you know who'll sit in your front room drinking a beer and smoking a pipe with you after a shitty week!? Just don't think about it and it does eventually fall into place - open mind and whatnot. |
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AmayaTsuki wrote: A friend of mine only jokes in puns, so I'm use to it lol. The word you're looking for is worst. "One of the worst decisions of my life." I haven't heard that one. What about him? Mmm well that was what I was originally going for, but it wasn't really one of the worst... just more worse than not-as-worse decisions... so I decided to go for the middle! The answer is: Oh don't worry about him, he's "all right" now! ke ke ke |
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WAIT! It's dangerous out there! Take one of these >> (-⦾-) (-⦾-) (-⦾-)
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don't worry ppl even though its hard to make friends now as adults I offer you all my friendship! so if you need a friend just let me know!
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been so busy have not been able to watch anime! so sad!! will catch up soon!
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yellowmangoes wrote: AmayaTsuki wrote: A friend of mine only jokes in puns, so I'm use to it lol. The word you're looking for is worst. "One of the worst decisions of my life." I haven't heard that one. What about him? Mmm well that was what I was originally going for, but it wasn't really one of the worst... just more worse than not-as-worse decisions... so I decided to go for the middle! The answer is: Oh don't worry about him, he's "all right" now! ke ke ke Lol I don't think there is anything in the middle. Either it's the worst or it's not the worst. They should definitely event a word for in the middle :p I have heard that one, now that I think about it. A long time ago. Lucky for you, I got hit in the head last year and got a concussion, so every joke is a new joke to me :p Also, your laugh wouldn't happen to be the same laugh as Kululu in Sgt. Frog would it? If it is, then you're awesome |
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AmayaTsuki wrote: yellowmangoes wrote: AmayaTsuki wrote: A friend of mine only jokes in puns, so I'm use to it lol. The word you're looking for is worst. "One of the worst decisions of my life." I haven't heard that one. What about him? Mmm well that was what I was originally going for, but it wasn't really one of the worst... just more worse than not-as-worse decisions... so I decided to go for the middle! The answer is: Oh don't worry about him, he's "all right" now! ke ke ke Lol I don't think there is anything in the middle. Either it's the worst or it's not the worst. They should definitely event a word for in the middle :p I have heard that one, now that I think about it. A long time ago. Lucky for you, I got hit in the head last year and got a concussion, so every joke is a new joke to me :p Also, your laugh wouldn't happen to be the same laugh as Kululu in Sgt. Frog would it? If it is, then you're awesome :D "Worse" can also work, if it's on a sliding scale... "It's not the worst decision I've made, but it's one of the worse ones." (That particular usage is less common, though.) |
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http://adeptgamer.com
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AmayaTsuki wrote: So, I have a few really good friends, but I've known them since high school. I've noticed that meeting people as an adult is really difficult and I wonder if a lot of other people struggle with this too or am I just doing it wrong I've thought about it a lot and I guess since, as an adult, pretty much all you do is go to work, it's pretty hard to meet people you can make a real connection with. How do you guys meet people? Or do you struggle like I do? 1) Start hosting or going to game night parties. 2) Invite people you know are chill but maybe aren't friends. 3) Encourage people to invite guests every time. And then it is all gravy from there. You'll know which people you'll become friends with by the way they act at the party. |
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